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October 04 2017

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October 2017
And yet I have no trouble believing that the start of the 2016 election was several decades ago.

October 02 2017

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Self Driving
"Crowdsourced steering" doesn't sound quite as appealing as "self driving."

September 29 2017

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Active Ingredients Only
Contains the active ingredients from all competing cold medicines, plus the medicines for headaches, arthritis, insomnia, indigestion, and more, because who wants THOSE things?

September 27 2017

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Worrying Scientist Interviews
They always try to explain that they're called 'solar physicists', but the reporters interrupt with "NEVER MIND THAT, TELL US WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE SUN!"

September 25 2017

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Real Estate
I tried converting the prices into pizzas, to put it in more familiar terms, and it just became a hard-to-think-about number of pizzas.

September 22 2017

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Thread
Since the current Twitter threadfall kicked off in early 2016, we can expect it to continue until the mid 2060s when the next Interval begins.

September 20 2017

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USB Cables
Tag yourself, I'm "frayed."

September 18 2017

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Obsolete Technology
And I can't believe some places still use fax machines. The electrical signals waste so much time going AROUND the Earth when neutrino beams can go straight through!

September 15 2017

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What to Bring
I always figured you should never bring a gun to a gun fight because then you'll be part of a gun fight.
Reposted byBanani Banani

September 13 2017

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xkcd Phone 6
We understand your privacy concerns; be assured that our phones will never store or transmit images of your face.

September 11 2017

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Still in Use
'Which one?' 'I dunno, it's your house. Just check each object.' 'Check it for *what*?' 'Whether it looks like it might have touched a paper towel at some point and then forgotten to let go.' '...' 'You can also Google to learn how to check which things are using which resources.' 'You know, I'll just leave the towel there and try again tomorrow.'

September 08 2017

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Two Down, One to Go
The third row will probably have to wait until 2034, and maybe longer. If I see a daytime supernova, I'll replace the meteor storm with that and consider it 3/3.

September 06 2017

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Typing Notifications
Over the years I've decided I'd rather have them on than not, but I'm glad there aren't "has opened a blank note to compose a reply to you" notifications.

September 04 2017

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Ensemble Model
I'm in talks with Netflix to produce an alternate-universe crime drama about the world where sliced bread was never re-legalized, but it's going slowly because they keep changing their phone numbers and the door lock codes at their headquarters.

September 01 2017

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Ringer Volume/Media Volume
Our new video ad campaign has our product's name shouted in the first 500 milliseconds, so we can reach the people in adjacent rooms while the viewer is still turning down the volume.

August 30 2017

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Supervillain Plan
Someday, some big historical event will happen during the DST changeover, and all the tick-tock articles chronicling how it unfolded will have to include a really annoying explanation next to their timelines.

August 28 2017

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Color Models
What if what *I* see as blue, *you* see as a slightly different blue because you're using Chrome instead of Firefox and despite a decade of messing with profiles we STILL can't get this right somehow.

August 25 2017

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Drone Training
The joke will be on him in a few weeks when animal control shows up and takes custody of his Roomba.

August 23 2017

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Eclipse Review
I watched from a beautiful nature reserve in central Missouri, and it was--without exaggeration--the coolest thing I've ever seen.

August 21 2017

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Eclipse Birds
'Hey! Put her down!' 'No, it's ok! The next chance for me to be carried to a blood cauldron isn't until 2024!'
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